Wii Sports Resort: Artificial Impossibilities

Clearly the mandatory drug testing regime in Wii Sports Resort is a little lax.

The later opponents in Table Tennis move supernaturally fast across the table to return my shots, are capable of unleashing unstoppable top spins on a whim (often in response to a particularly good shot from me), and even seem capable of screwing up the calibration in my Motion Plus during a particularly long rally, making me flail at the ball with all the hand-eye coordination of Alex Bogdanovic. Blindfolded. In a Davis Cup tie.

Suddenly the hideous blue shells in Mario Kart don’t seem so bad after all. There’s cheap, and then there’s this. At times, I swear I can see a certain Mr Wizpig in the crowd, taking notes…